This week In Autism - Back To Sleep

(or more accurately… this month in autism)

It’s been a while since I’ve written one of these — a month and a week, to be exact.

That’s partly because I’ve been working non-stop, and partly because we’ve had a lot going on. We had an offer accepted on a new house. That meant getting our current place ready for sale, getting photos taken, dealing with agents, inspections, contracts — the works. But the 2+ year house hunt might actually be over.

Where that ties into autism — and more specifically Henry — is that I’ve always had this feeling that as he gets older, it’ll get harder and harder to take him places.

Even now, we feel like if we don’t “go somewhere,” he doesn’t fully get his energy out. But going somewhere can often be too much — for all of us. So the goal has always been to go from a backyard the size of a bedroom to one the size of a football field.

We’ll still be actively taking him places — the plan is definitely not to isolate or become homebound. Outings will always be an important part of his development and our lives. But right now, it feels like everything has to happen away from home. Our current place is so small that it doesn’t really support much life inside of it — if we want movement, play, or any kind of sensory exploration, we need to get in the car and go somewhere. It’ll be nice to finally have a home that feels like a destination in itself, where the default environment is already rich and engaging without requiring constant effort to leave it.

I want to build him sensory play areas, veggie gardens, and have chickens he can feed and collect eggs from. I want a space where he can water plants every morning with me, watch food grow, and actually connect with it before he eats it. A pool, too — because taking a Level 3 autistic child to swim lessons sounds like a logistical nightmare, but teaching him at home might work.

It’s also a space where I can work from home properly — I’ll finally have a shed on the property where I can run the business. No more 40-minute round trips to pack orders. That time gets reallocated to Henry. I could pack orders while he’s napping or having dinner — time I normally can’t leave the house.

There are selfish reasons I want the house. But there are a hundred more reasons I want it for him.

That said, one of the scariest parts is how massive this change might feel for Henry. Change has historically hit him hard — when Sarah had gastro weeks ago, he was off for weeks. And now we’re talking about moving house.

New walls, new floors, new sounds, smells, routines, layout… it could totally destabilize him. There’s a very real fear that we’ll go back to square one.

But it could also be a fresh slate — a chance to set new rhythms, maybe even help transition him into his own bed instead of co-sleeping with Mum (where I’m supposed to sleep — ha).

Regardless, we’re in it now. Our house is officially on the market. This is happening.

Quick Wins + Other Notes

A cool little win — remember how in the last update Henry had developed those bizarre bedtime rituals (the “rigidity spike” stuff)? Well, they’ve mostly gone.

About a week ago, totally unprompted, Henry motioned for me to sit on the bed instead of stand like usual. Then he climbed up and lay next to me — and just… fell asleep.

Since then, that’s been the routine. He’s back to laying next to me, falling asleep in about 15 minutes, and most nights he sleeps through until 5–7am.

It took a month of letting him lead the process — resisting the urge to force any changes — and then one night, it just clicked.

That’s the update for now. I’ll write again soon — maybe from the new place!